HV2 becoming a parent

Baby Blues

Many women feel a bit down, tearful or anxious in the first week after giving birth. This is often called the “baby blues” and nearly 80% of new mothers experience this. However the ‘baby blues’ should not last more than two weeks after having your baby, if you don’t feel that the ‘blues’ is not improving or is starting after a few weeks you may be developing postnatal depression.

Postnatal depression

This can be easily missed as many women are worried about how they will be viewed as a mother or that someone will take their baby away. This couldn’t be further from the truth and your health visitor is available to help you find the right treatment and support so you can enjoy your new baby. Visit the Mind website for more about postnatal and antenatal depression.

Your health visitor will ask you two questions when he or she visits you at your new birth contact and each time they see you so we can help identify how you are feeling.

1. During the last month, have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless?
2. During the last month, have you often been bothered by little interest or pleasure in doing thing?

If you answer ‘Yes’ to either of these questions then your health visitor is able to listen to how you are feeling and help you think about getting further support. They may ask you more questions about how these feelings are impacting other parts of your life.

Other symptoms may include:

• crying nearly every day
• trouble going back to sleep at night, lying awake worrying
• difficulty bonding with your baby
• not wanting to be with people or being too anxious to go out with your baby
• frightening thoughts - for example, about hurting your baby

Perinatal OCD

Some mothers also become very anxious or can begin with obsessive behaviour. This often includes beliefs and rituals in relation to caring for the baby. This is called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Puerperal Psychosis

Some Mothers can become very unwell. They experience rapid mood changes, an inability to eat or sleep and paranoid thoughts. Sometimes these involve thoughts about the baby and may believe others feel their partner or parents want to harm them.

This is an emergency situation and the mother’s mental health can deteriorate very quickly with severe consequences.

This is called Puerperal Psychosis and the mother and baby will need to go to hospital to be treated as soon as possible. For more information you can contact Action on Postpartum Psychosis.

Getting support

Support may look like attending a group with other mums who feel the same or maybe going to counselling. You may also feel that it would be good to see your GP to think about some antidepressants. There are lots of options, but not receiving any treatment or support may mean that it lasts for a long time.

MIND is a mental health organisation that can also offer information and support.

Counselling

Counselling is available from Talk Changes you can refer yourself or ask your health visitor to help you.

You can also contact IAPT, the NHS counselling service, for help and emotional support during pregnancy

Support groups

If you think a group may be helpful ‘The First Year and You Group’ is ran by First Steps Psychology Service. If you would like to attend you can speak to your health visitor or call them on 0207 0147135.

Mental health support in pregnancy

If you are pregnant and have a mental health diagnosis or are a mother and have previously been treated by mental health services the Perinatal Mental Health Services can offer you additional treatment and support throughout your pregnancy and up to two years after your baby is born.

This is very important as the challenges of pregnancy, delivery of a baby and caring for a young infant can have a significant impact on your mental health.

Birth trauma

For women who suffer birth trauma, the Birth Trauma Association can be of great help.

Urgent Mental Health Concern about yourself or for someone else.

The NHS ‘111 press option 2’ for mental health is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for all ages. People can use this number if they have an urgent mental health concern themselves or about someone they know.

By providing access to a mental health professional, without the need for a GP referral, it can help support people to manage a mental health crisis and in many cases be an alternative to attending emergency departments or calling the police.

The service can be accessed by calling NHS 111 and selecting ‘option 2’. Callers will be transferred to a dedicated member of a mental health team in their local health board area.

Fathers - you are an important part of your child’s life whether you live at home with your child or separately. The influence you have as a dad has a lifelong effect on your child.

The National Childbirth Trust have some very useful information on how to make the transition into being a dad a bit easier.

The Fatherhood Institute also have really helpful information and blogs about becoming a dad and the challenges that can bring.

If you can attend the antenatal classes with your partner you will find this very informative. However attending the birth of your child can also be quite a challenging experience. It may be useful to hear other dads’ stories.

Postnatal Depression in Fathers

Many dads have depression following the birth of their child.

Some of the many symptoms are:

• feeling sad and finding it hard to enjoy things
• feeling you are the father who can’t cope
• feeling guilty and as though you are a failure
• feeling anxious and irritable
• finding coping with the baby’s crying difficult
• trouble getting to sleep or endlessly craving sleep
• lack of energy
• loss of appetite
• being indecisive even about relatively simple choices
• not feeling connected to your baby

Getting support

Your GP and health visitor can support you during this time and discuss services available.

Talking Therapies is a counselling service providing support for people living with anxiety and depression in City and Hackney. They are able to see dads very quickly after the birth and you can refer yourself online. Remember to tell them you have just had a baby.

Having a baby can be costly and finding out what financial support you are entitled to and how to apply for it can be overwhelming.

Below is some information that you may find helpful.

Financial help if you have children

Benefits for families

It is also useful to know your maternity rights, when to inform your employers and staying safe at work. Maternity Action is the UK’s maternity rights charity dedicated to promoting, protecting and enhancing the rights of all pregnant women, new mothers and their families to employment, social security and health care. They can give you some free advice.

Get help through Hackney Here to Help

The expert officers can help you with:

• benefits advice: ensure you’re claiming all entitled benefits
• home goods: get items for a property you’re moving in to
• disability benefits: apply for disability benefits
• cost of living: access one-off cost of living help
• rent arrears: get help with overdue rent
• rent deposit: secure a tenancy with rent in advance
• council Tax debt: get help with Council Tax debt
• cost of removals: get help with moving costs

Before you apply here are some key things you need to know:

• only Hackney residents can apply - you must live in the London Borough of Hackney
• provide accurate information - make sure to give your full name, address, phone number, and National Insurance number
• read eligibility criteria for discretionary funds

Hackney and City health visitors provide support for children in families who are currently being fostered or have been adopted. We can also support children who are being privately fostered. Contact us if you would like more information.

Read more about fostering, from the NSPCC.

What is fostering?

Fostering is a way of providing a family life for children who cannot live with their birth parents. Another term for children in foster care is “looked after children”.

Read more on fostering in Hackney 

What is adoption?

Adoption is a way of providing a new family for children who are no longer able to live with their birth families. It transfers the legal rights and parental responsibility of birth parents to adoptive parents. Adoption is about meeting the needs of the children, not meeting the needs of adults who wish to adopt

Read more on adoption in Hackney

Private Fostering

Private fostering is a private arrangement between a parent and a carer. When a child under 16 (or 18 if disabled) is cared for and provided with accommodation by an adult who is not a relative, for 28 days or more, it is called private fostering.

The Council has a legal duty to ensure that children and young people in this situation are safe and properly cared for. Under the Children Act, you must tell the Council if you are entering into a private fostering arrangement. Your health visitor may ask you if you are privately fostering.

Read more on private fostering in Hackney

Returning to work after you have had your baby can be a big decision and there are lots of things to consider. You may be hoping that you can reduce your hours to accommodate child care; lots of parents also worry about leaving their baby.

This is all normal but can be overwhelming. Talk to other parents and colleagues at your work place to see how they manage and speak to your employer about how they can accommodate you and your new responsibilities

At home with your baby

A guide to Baby Crying

Illness in newborn babies

The Lulluby Trust: The Lullaby Trust raises awareness of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), provides expert advice on safer sleep for babies and offers emotional support for bereaved families

UNICEF Baby Friendly: Advice for parents on infant feeding

Babies and children are very vulnerable to the effects of ‘second hand’ smoke . Second hand smoke is a mixture of smoke from the burning end of a cigarette and the smoke breathed out by the person smoking.

If a child lives in a house where one or more people smoke, it more than doubles the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) or cot death.

Second hand smoke can also increase the risk of:

• wheezing and coughing
• asthma
• ear infections and glue ear
• Sudden Infant Death (cot death)
• respiratory infections (bronchiolitis)
• bacterial meningitis

Second hand smoke during pregnancy

Second hand smoke can also harm your baby before they are even born. When you inhale smoke you’re putting chemicals into your body, including tar and carbon monoxide (which is a poisonous gas). These chemicals damage both your body and your unborn baby, and can cause a wide range of health problems.

If you or someone who may pick up your baby smoke

• wash your hands before handling the baby
• leave picking up your baby for 25 mins after smoking a cigarette as your breath contains nicotine
• go outside to smoke and cover your indoor clothes with a coat or jacket

Vaping or e-cigarettes

An estimated 2.9 million adults in Great Britain currently use e-cigarettes and of these, 1.5 million people have completely stopped smoking cigarettes. They carry a fraction of the risk of cigarettes and can be particularly effective when combined with extra quitting support. See the NHS Smokefree website for more information on e-cigarettes.

Stop smoking support

For help to stop smoking speak to your health visitor who can put you in touch with the Tobacco Treatment Dependence Service. They will offer you expert support to help you manage nicotine withdrawals and share hints and tips on how to reduce or stop smoking. They will also talk through the various medication options available. 

Read more on stop smoking support in Hackney and the City and stopping smoking in pregnancy.